A Childhood Memory Colors the Present
From The Revivalists, by Christopher M. Hood:
Leaning against the empty salad bar station was a silver-haired brush cut with a tight mustache. He wore an olive-green T-shirt, camouflage pants tucked into tall boots. Two leather straps circled his right thigh, holding up a pistol in a holster. The only other time I’d seen that was on an action figure I had when I was a kid.
This passage is more about what Hood doesn’t say than what he does say in his description of the soldier.
Hood skips the man’s height, weight, or musculature. He doesn’t provide outright descriptions of the condition of the soldier’s clothing — only the color and style. He doesn’t mention the wear of the leather gun holster or say anything about the type of pistol.
Still, I clearly see this military man as the copy of an action figure I once saw or played with. It’s Hood’s quick closing note of the narrator’s own envisioning of the gun holster (“The only other time I’d seen…”) that brings me into that head space.
Action figures tend to show a picturesque model of their subject. In the case of an army officer, you won’t find an out-of-shape, jelly doughnut-eating man who’s past his prime.
Instead you find a 6’2”, 180 lb., all-muscle man with chiseled chest and biceps, strong chin, pressed shirt, and gun and holster that look like they haven’t had a minute of battle. That’s the figure I see in this scene.
Hood only shows me the basics. Then with my own quick relation to the narrator — I too have played with an action figure! — my experience fills in the rest.
Even more exciting is that this type of description can help the author develop a description that’s different for every person. Sure, you and I both read the basic outline. But do we remember the same action figure? Do we transfer all the features from our past into this story taking shape in our present?
Hood leaves it up to us. I see something different from you, probably something different from the narrator (if only I could talk to him), and probably something different from Hood.
I wonder how much you could get away with if you were to rewrite this scene. Are the explicit mentions of tall boots necessary? Does it matter if the gun holster is on the man’s right thigh? When I read this and transpose my own action figure attributes, I unintentionally switch the man’s hair from silver to yellow. Maybe Hood’s addition of “silver-haired” was overkill.
The description Hood gives is one that fits his style (preferring emotional response to physical scene detail) and fits this character (a minor one in the broad scope of things). All part of why this same analysis likely wouldn’t work if a different author penned this same novel.